1. |
Interlude 1 - Passion
03:02
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Life is all about passion
That’s the truth at the end of the day
Everything can be broken down to it every which way
We go through life just trying to realize it
Some lucky enough to make a living out of it
And still most of us just can’t seem to find it
And even if we do we just can’t seem to commit
To making it our life, nurturing our obsession
Maybe it’s just we’re afraid of rejection
Taking the safe route instead of the exception
Not following our true means of expression
Selling out on just some profession
'Cause that’s what can really lead to depression
When you’re out there standing at the gates of heaven
Looking back on your life
Just hoping you lived it right
Reached some kind of great height
So no regrets heading into the final light
But finding this passion isn’t something easily known it
Is that one thing that consumes every moment
And when you’ve finally found it you’ll know it
But until then all you can do is search for it
Because once it’s found, nothing else matters
You could go deaf and blind, the world around you shattered
Torn up by every single natural disaster
Never experience another burst of joy and laughter
None of it would matter, because you’d have mastered
Your true passion in life, your calling, your craft here
I just wish that I had realized my passion by now
It sure would make life easier to figure out
'Cause there’s nothing in life that completely consumes me
Makes it impossible to concentrate on any other thing
Sure I really love to perform, love to write, love to sing
But sometimes a few days will go by and I won’t even have plucked a string
While true passion should be that which consumes everything
Takes up every action, every thought, whether awake or in dreams
And I say that now, but don’t really even know what it means
I just wish I had that assuredness, like a young boy in preschool
Answering the question “when you grow up, what do you wanna do?”
Maybe that’s what’s true
Our answer back then
We don’t really remember now, We get caught up instead
On external pressures fueling internal stress,
Not our five year old selves, who could only think of greatness
So what is my passion?
I don’t know but I’ll find out somehow
If you find out for me, see through my amalgam
Then hit me up asap, let me know now
Until then though, let’s get on with the album
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2. |
The Show (Day Apart)
03:36
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The Unknowns EP, let’s go:
Roll call
It’s me Natty Ward
And this ain’t just some shit I’m pulling off ‘cause I’m bored
‘Cause I’ve been putting in the hours, I’ve been putting in the time
I am at work just daydreaming, thinkin’ up some rhymes
And I’m that guy you see when you drive by
Belting out tunes, not a care on his mind
Yeah I’m walking to class, sputtering out a little beatbox
Don’t care if people stare as if I were wearing just crocs
Because more than often than not I’m okay with doing the most
‘Cause having no chill goes along well with jokes
And I’m often too grandiose
Megalomaniacal goals
So let’s raise a toast for all my hopes before we all get too old
And yeah girl that’s how we start
But for now we’re living a day apart
We’re living a day apart
Spitting verse harder than my haftorah now
Except with all the cursing now, my Bubbe wouldn’t be as proud
But I ain’t talkin’ bar mitzvahs ‘cause here’s my coming of age
Tryna make my wordplay a full production on a stage
And I really don’t take myself too seriously
Especially with my music, I mean, are you hearing me?
Just out here to entertain and perform
Make something out of nothing that’s wholly my own
‘Cause at the end of the day I prefer to work alone
Hate relying on others, yeah, I’m about it home grown
And like Ray Allen on a free throw
You know it’s happening for sure
So let’s get on with the show, and you’ll all know what’s tight
‘Cause I did all of this in my bedroom, predominantly late at night
And where do we start, when we’re living a day apart?
If I mess up or fuck up, no one will care
‘Cause the hustle is respected so let’s see how I fair
And if my message isn’t truly captured
Then I couldn’t care less because I’m not a rapper
Yeah I’m that guy looking at you girl
Judging you hard, Ruth Bader Ginsburg
But you know what I say?
Just say you not guilty
Let’s get on with the show, see how far it takes me
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3. |
Hard to Read
03:26
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I haven't read a book since back in high school
Maybe that's why I just can't read you
It's like I'm still stuck on chapter one
Wondering what I'm gonna do
'Cause when you talk to me you're like Dostoyevsky
You're just way too hard to read
You live my mind torn like Nathaniel Hawthorne
Wondering what you really mean
Too hard to read
And even honesty isn't clear to me
'Cause it's often different than what I'm seeing
And it's hard to sleep when my mind is racing
Thinking 'bout you and me
Maybe that's the reason
I'm just here overthinking
It's like dyslexia plus ADHD
'Cause you're like the book I can't even read
And there ain't no Sparknotes in the world
To analyze you for me
'Cause you leave my brain annoyed 'cause you're like James Joyce
Something I can't even read
And I'm like a little boy 'cause you're like Tolstoy
Way above reading level for me
Too hard to read
And even honesty isn't clear to me
'Cause it's often different than what I'm seeing
And it's hard to sleep when my mind is racing
Thinking 'bout you and me
Maybe that's the reason
I'm just here overthinking
Yeah I hope that's the reason
I'm just doing too much thinking
But it's probably not the reason
...or maybe that's just me still doing too much thinking
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4. |
With Me
04:53
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My bank account is at the point where
I'm 'bout to go into negative dollars
But it will all be a-okay
'Cause I've got these business plans running through my brain
Maybe I'll make an app
Which will make some cash
Which I can use when I go back to college
Where that cash will be quickly demolished
As I spend it all on alcohol and blow
The rest on taking you out
'Cause baby girl you're the one I've been thinking about
They say the best things in life are free
Well that must be true because you're with me
Things have been getting stressful lately
All these little things driving me crazy
But at least
At least I have you
And you don't care what I do
With my life and my future
But at least
At least I have you
They say the best things in life are free
Well that must be true because you're with me
So here I am I ain't got no complaints
I'm going harder than LeBron in the paint
And I'm here for the long run
Even though my car always breaks down in the middle of US1
Is there water on Mars or not?
Who cares? I'll never own that fancy yacht
So I won't take you boating there
But baby girl, would you really even care?
No money or career goals
People telling me I'm getting too old
I can't take you on fancy trips
But really you don't seem to mind it
It's just the best that you don't really care
But we'll soon be balling out when I'm a millionaire
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5. |
Time Machine
05:20
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I wish I had a time machine
to go back and say the things
I never had the guts to say to you
That one night
The time was right
Stage fright
I didn't say anything
To think
To think what could have been
If I had a time machine I'd go back and do it again
And when I'm asked where I see myself ten years from now
I never know what I'd say
But if I had a time machine
I'd go check it out today
Because now my life is so open ended
And the most terrifying thing is the unknown
Yeah if I had a time machine
It would help me feel less alone
So physicists everywhere get on it for real
HG Wells had the right idea
So where the modern Einsteins at?
Just get to it, I don't care how
Just build that time machine
So I can use it now
Then I'd time machine myself
200 years backwards
Goon with the founding fathers
Put my history degree to work
See what everything was like
See it all firsthand
Dap Benny Franklin the fuck up
Dude was the man
Make two pit stops on my way back
First to kill Hitler, next to say those words to you
Yeah if I had that time machine
That's exactly what I'd do
Finally I'd transport us
A thousand years into the future
Nuclear war destroyed the world
Humanity is ruined
We could just start life anew
Just you and me together
Just you me, and our time machine
Looping us through history
Forever
So physicists everywhere let's get on it alright
Gotta travel all through time, call me Marty McFly
And all the modern Einsteins, I really don't care how
Just build that time machine so I can use it now
Really need to use it now
Yeah you and me girl now
Yeah now
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6. |
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Yo so I don’t know if y’all were listening to that last song—my guess is no because you only like listening to songs with one liners about Ruth Bader Ginsburg, which is an incredibly niche market that I like to think I have a pretty good handle on.
But if you were though, you’d note that with my time machine I was able to figure out my future—the major theme of this EP, do hoodrat shit with Benjamin Franklin—one of the biggest ballers in American history, kill Adolf Hitler—one of the worst people of all time, dude was a total dick, and fix all my past relationship issues. And honestly that last one doesn’t even matter at this point because I have a damn time machine. I’ll just go chill with like Cleopatra, or freaking Eve, or like Helen Keller or someone. Endless possibilities.
Straight up I’ll be watching that Morgan Freeman science show and they’re always making it seem like we’re one step away from the breakthrough in time travel. Like that shit’s about to come out with the next iPhone or something.
I call challenge because I know if we discover time travel in my lifetime, I would have already come back in time to give myself some kind of sign that it all worked out. Like right around now: Saturday, July 18, 2015 at 11:14 PM in my bedroom.
So it looks like I’m just gonna have to keep going on without my life saving time machine. Because of that I guess it’s just always better to simply say whatever you need to say, when you need to say it. I know now that at the end of the day, anything and everything is better said than left unsaid, and wished said. So just say it!
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7. |
Future
03:44
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Time flies
And my future used to look so bright
But now I’m
Standing at the precipice of it staring into its eyes
My future is frightening
Staring into its eyes
Don’t blink
The only future I’ve ever fully thought about
Was the one that comes along when college spits me out
So I’m not worried about marriage or my IRA
‘Cause I gotta land a job first to have a 401(k)
But I keep telling myself it will all be okay
But I’m almost out of school without a plan on my plate
And that’s mostly due to not even knowing what to do
For most kids that’s called “just go to grad school”
But I’m done with school. I can’t handle any more of it
I made it as far as I did
I sometimes thought that I should quit
But I’ve gone my whole life being told how smart I am
Now how do I really apply it outside an exam?
‘Cause all I need to do is just find something
Meaningful and difference making
But that’s hard when I’ve got bills that need paying
So that’s why I’m just stuck here saying
It’s almost like yesterday I was blasting Green Day on my Walkman
But now I’m about to graduate, call me Dustin Hoffman
‘Cause honestly life’s gonna be an open field for me
But it’s like I broke my astrolabe, I’m lost at sea
So thank god the biggest asset I have is time
So I can try a bunch of different things and figure out my life
‘Cause people ask me what I want to do
And I tell them I’m not sure
Then they come right back and ask me
What the hell I’m graduating early for
‘Cause I’m just the opposite of Asher Roth, I’m kinda over college
‘Cause shit be getting too hot, better run it under the faucet
Now I’m graduating early
And bringing the cum laude
A useless liberal arts degree
And just like it I’m history
With more minors than R. Kelly
Career cameos than Buscemi
I’m finding my identity
For keeps I play, look out for me
So my future is coming sooner and sooner
The real world’s a scary place, get prepping my funeral
And yeah I know life’s what I make
But I opened up my fortune cookie and the paper was blank
Just gotta find that purpose
The future that my life should take
Gotta find my passion before it gets too late
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8. |
Singin' Love
03:06
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Just walking down the road
Whistling this happy song
While you're walking here next to me
As we stroll around with a skip in our feet
We just humming an upbeat tune
In our favorite month of June
Yeah girl just me and you
Walk on through the afternoon
Like la da dee, you and me
Singin' without and care now
La dee dai, you and I
Don't matter if people stare now
'Cause I love you, and you love me
We singin', la da dee da dee
And when we sing, ain't no bad things
To ever come between us
Now I'm walking down the street
Then I fall and scrape my knee
But I don't even bleed
'Cause all my blood's to my heart from the way you're making it beat
Real fast because we're together at last
After all the time has passed
Of our silent longing for each other
Unknown to one another
Now we singing
And if our walk draws rainclouds
And I bleed after falling down
Our song won't be the same
But until then
You got me singin' love
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9. |
Label
04:15
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Baby
You in my mind driving me crazy
And baby girl
Got my mind in a whirl
With each of your little hair curls
And let's just
Let's just quit with all the indifference
Let's just
Stop and we'll get down to business
We'll stop by Staples and pick up a label maker
So everything will be clearly outlined in paper
'Cause we've got enough questions in both our lives
So let's not have to worry 'bout how we're defined
Yeah let's keep our two hearts beating as one
'Cause things are more simple than we keep thinking
Let's put our egos aside so our hearts can keep beating as one
Ah yeah let me tell you how I'm feeling:
I'm feeling
There's more going on here than us just chilling
And I'm feeling
It's not only okay between us when we're drinking
And I know
That this here is something that we both want
And I know
That there's no reason to be all nonchalant
Wish that I had realized this before
We could have been so much more
What's happened has happened, what's done is done
We no longer have our two hearts beating as one
Shoulda gone to Staples to pick up a label maker
So everything would have been clearly outlined in paper
We had enough questions in both our lives
We shouldn't have had to worry about how we were defined
Shoulda kept our two hearts beating as one
'Cause things were more simple than we kept thinking
Shoulda put our egos aside; now are hearts are no longer beating as one
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10. |
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So I guess this is the end?
I guess things are done
So I guess it's now just friends?
Everything dead and gone
Why did it have to work out this way?
Couldn't last another day
Why did it have to work out this way?
What was it that we needed to say?
Or was it just never meant to be?
Was it just doomed from the beginning?
Feel your hands resting in mine
We're just in the wrong place and at the wrong time
And your eyes looked like tiny planets
Swirling spheres of blues and greens
Surrounded in water
As you couldn't hold back the tears
Well I watched--I watched you drive away
And I knew that this would be the last day
I ever spoke to you and you know it's true
But it won't be the last day I'll be thinking of you
Looking back on that night when we first met
I'm so glad that night I didn't just stay home instead
And in the end, I'm thankful for it all
'Cause they say it's better to have loved and lost than to have not loved at all
Feel your hands resting in mine
We're just in the wrong place and at the wrong time
_____________________________________________
We were in the wrong place at the wrong time
Or maybe it's just that I was the wrong guy
Now I realize it's that you were the wrong girl
No idea you were just so terrible
I left things up to chance
I played up the romance
All you could do was play me
Harder than these guitar strings
I wish I knew back then
I had no idea, couldn't even pretend
And girl you know you were a perfect ten
On the pH scale, 'cause you basic as hell
And I just can't believe I was so dumb
But fuck it, it's over, I'm left uncomfortably numb
I wish I knew back then
I had no idea, couldn't even pretend
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11. |
Interlude 3 - Unknowns
02:09
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For all of us, one of our biggest fears is the unknown. It manifests itself in many forms, but always accompanies itself with feelings of anxiety of varying intensities. Death is the biggest example, with how little we know about it fueling a kind of terror based anxiety. The unknowns that come before the first day of school or a big trip or life event on the other hand create feelings of anxiety more based around excitement as you lie in bed the night before unable to sleep just thinking about the events that could potentially play out.
We never know how things are going to work out. We never know the right path to take until we take it and it either works out for us or creates problems.
So as I went through the process of making this album and really wrapping my mind around my future trajectory, almost bracing myself for what is about to hit me, I just kept coming back to the idea of passion and how it really is the lifeforce of, well, life I guess. Blood pumps and circulates through our veins, keeping us conscious and alive. Our passions are like the fuel that circulates our daily lives, keeping us motivated and driven. And if they’re realized and embraced, then you’re happy, which at the end of the day is what we all want to be.
A lot of these unknowns for me stem mainly from the fact I’m now really starting to think about and evaluate my life and what I’m trying to do and achieve, instead of just following a standard path—reflections I should really have had a few years ago, I just wasn’t mature or aware enough. And these introspections make me realize just how unsure of my direction in life I am—a sort of umbrella unknown that reveals itself in all my personal, romantic, and professional interactions.
This album was a summer commitment I made for myself in the middle of May, 2015 and something I was determined to complete as sort of a cathartic bookmark before I embark on the next chapter in my life. Who knows exactly what that will be, but this is me kind of ripping the previous pages out, fully leaping forward into the unknowns to come. And all I can say to that is: lehgo.
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Natty Ward New York, New York
Sounds like your summer camp counselor when he's off the clock
New music: feelloudly.bandcamp.com
Contact: nattywardmusic@gmail.com
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